I want to not feel like a waste of space, or like my rib cage is going to collapse around my lungs and I can’t breathe anymore. I don’t want to not sleep and keep myself miserable for lack of sleep. I don’t want to be any of what I used to. I don’t want to have the “I can only fuck up” mentality, it destroys me. But when everyone is telling you that no matter what you do, it’s wrong. If you do something right, it goes unnoticed. My mom thinks I’m a fuck up, my boss does too, and sometimes Kyle does. That one hurts bad. Because I don’t want to fuck up all the time, but my brain doesn’t stop. When I’m high I’m fine. When I’m sober, I’m ready to be high. I don’t numb myself, but I feel like I would if I had the chance. My demons wrestle and try to win the spot for most important, but I usually just start worrying about everything at once. I don’t want to cry. I have a good life. But sometimes my brain just decides that it has to fuck up everything. I don’t wanna fuck up everything. I don’t want my chest to feel stretched over all of my bones and start to crawl like it’s not mine I’m in, like my skin was on the wrong body. I want my hands to stop shaking and my tears to stop. I want to not feel a lump in my throat like all the anxieties are stuck and stretched on my esophagus. I want my words to not feel shaky like my hands or my heart and lungs to not feel like my ribs are closing to puncture them. I don’t want to be crying when the love of my life is sleeping beside me. I wish you knew how much I cried, not to make you feel bad, just so someone knows how sad I feel. I’m sorry I’m so negative and make everything about me. I learned those from my mom. I’m sorry I interrupt. I’m sorry that I give doses of reality when it’s inappropriate. I’m sorry I feel this way. I know my anxiety and depression affect yours a lot, as do yours with mine. I’m sorry you give me as much as you can and I still want more. I’m sorry I take up so much of your life. You tell me you’re afraid of losing me, and I’m afraid of losing you. Not to another person, but because I can’t get control over my head. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. You didn’t get a warning, but you’ve handled me much better than I ever have. And I thank you for giving me the life I have, I love it very much, but depression and anxiety don’t leave.

2 /

It really makes me upset that I couldn’t get that kitty today. She was amazing and I’m trying to be like “oh it’s fine. I don’t feel upset about not getting a cat” but I do. I just got my hopes up too high, because is haven’t felt excited about anything in a while to not get high hopes, and now I just feel really sad. I didn’t have a bad day since the adventure we took today, I just kind of feel like I really wanted a cat like Flap is to Kyle.

3 /


i literally do not understand why anybody would cheat on their partner like if you really feel the need to be with somebody else in the same way as you currently are with your partner, be a decent human being and end your relationship to save the person you supposedly love a whole world of unnecessary pain rather than be a piece of shit and break their heart 

154894 /
youaremynirvana mortal-sleep



you cant even stereotype the southern US because everything you come up with is probably true

i feel this because i live in the southern us

42813 /
unfollower vulgarsloth
5071 /
8 /
koyaniyako informercials
Much needed hike and fresh air today. 🍂🌿 (at Uwharrie National Forest)
Sometimes you need to drive down a gravel road around a mountain in the middle of nowhere and get mostly lost to have a great adventure, and you’re always willing to get lost with me. 🍂🍁🌰🌳🌿 (at Uwharrie National Forest)
florejaste oliviablaire

So I have to pay another $200 for a pet deposit to get another cat and I’m so sad because I just wanted another kitty and I got to hold her and we had a name and just dammit. I just want a kitty.

0 /

Design by steelbison
steelbison folkmountains



you’ve really gotta hand it to short people

because we usually can’t reach it anyways

126148 /
lameboob nerdypoet

Adam Scott in Band of Outsiders, Nylon, September 2011
band.bandofoutsiders.com folkinghipster

Diana Sudyka